Friday, June 1, 2007

I Want a Wife

Brady's essay, I Want a Wife, is more of a rant than an essay. In the beginning of the essay, everything seems feasible for a wife. Holding a part-time job and cleaning and cooking the house and taking care of the kids sounds like a wife's duties in the early 70's. Near the end of the essay, however, she starts going on about sexual needs and infidelity. A wife and a mother are two jobs that many women have had for centuries. The introduction of a part-time job has seemed to turn into too much for a wife and mother to handle. I notice the lazy husband role in my father and father-in-law. Brady's essay is exaggerated, but it conveys the feelings and attitudes of the overworked mother very accurately.
My father has recently started part-time work. On his days off, he reads, shoots trap, and goes on the occasional hunting trip. Most of the time I see him sitting down reading and watching TV. He doesn't do the laundry, feed the dogs, cook, or clean the house. He will occasionally load the dishwasher. He does do outside work, but very little. My mother works full-time and feeds and walks the three dogs. She cleans the house, does the dishes, and cooks the meals. She always complains about my father not doing housework, but she does it anyway.
My mother and father-in-law have recently retired. So neither of them work anymore. When they worked on a farm, I noticed the habits they had. Bill sits at the dinnertable and watches TV and surfs the net. He gets up from his chair to use the restroom or to move into the lazyboy. He does not clean, cook, or do chores. Miki does everything. She cooks his meals and cleans the table and dishes and cleans the house.
My father, Leo, is a little less lazy than my father-in-law, Bill. There roles as the breadwinners early in life has gone on for too long. They both need to appreciate their wives more and help with the housework. However, it is not entirely their fault. Miki and Jackie have waited on them hand and foot for the last 30 years. They are used to it and they believe it is their role as a good wife.
My wife and I are both in college at the time. She is getting her Ed.D and I am going for my Bachelors. She will obviously be the breadwinner and that is fine with me. I am a chef, and therefore do the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen. She will heat up a meal or put some dishes in the dishwasher, but I'd say I am more of the housewife. Our roles as husband-wife are much more mutually respectful than those in the past.
In the 70's, women had gained equal rights. What that seemed to mean is that it's okay for them to get a job. They still did not have the same rights as men. Today, we're finally reaching the plateau where women and men are equal in the workforce and at home. Women can pursue well paying jobs and men can be stay at home dads.
Brady's essay represents the role of women as mothers, wives, and workers converging at the same time. Brady may have overexaggerated her roles, but not by much. And the last part of the essay, where her husband can rightfully cheat on her, seems to represent more problems than one in their marriage. Brady had had enough, and she used this essay to truly tell what she put up with on a daily basis.

1 comment:

Jen said...

I appreciate that you include both perspectives. That women allow (or force) men to occupy a certain role, and then complain about that role is an interesting phenomenon, one that I've talked about with my own mother.

I'm not convinced that Brady's inclusion about the intimacy issues is as much personal as it is more of her attempt to show the oppositional roles for men and women in a marriage (as she sees them).

Your examples provide helpful analysis for your perspective.